As parents, we do our best to keep on top of the influences in our children’s lives. But there is one influencer that we need to keep WAY ahead of…pornography.
Likely one of the most challenging conversations you will have with your child will be about pornography. But, if you don’t have this conversation, the pornographers will.
Even if you filter your devices, keep devices in a high traffic area and monitor the homes your child visits, your child may still be exposed to pornography.
Kids are likely to see pornography at school, on the bus, at a birthday party, at a sleepover, etc.
In a time where sexual health education is still a hit and a miss, you must take on this teaching role.
So where does a parent begin? This is a step-by-step process. I recommend that you complete all steps in the order presented.
1. We begin by educating ourselves.
I have developed this 36-minute video that you can view in the privacy of your own home. You can download the training video here.
2. The next step is to educate your kids. Consider using this FREE tool made for parents/caregivers to share with (pre) teens.
3. (Optional) For families with children 8+ you may find this book useful The Things We Can’t Unsee: How to Talk to Kids About Pornography.
4. And now for the toughest part. I am going to recommend that you sit down with your child and pull up the website once you have had a chance to look at it on your own.
Porn Hub is the 34th most popular website (2018), had 33.5 billion visits in 2018 and is one of the top internet sites for boys ages 11-16.
This will not be an easy exercise. This will be challenging, but I believe necessary.
Once you have accessed a video, here are 5 important questions you can ask:
1. Do you think that this is the way most people would want to share their bodies?
2. Do you think this looks consensual? Explain what consent means.
3. Why do you think people create these videos?
4. Why might someone participate in one of these videos?
5. How is pornography different from real life relationships?
Your child will see pornography but if you front load them with critical thinking skills, they will be able to better navigate these challenging encounters.
Please also discuss what they should do if they are shown pornography at school, on the bus or on a play date.
Download our free resource Tips for Parents. And for more information or guidance, check out our course Creating a Culture of Childhood Protection in our Shop.
